The value of support networks

Today I discovered why I value support networks. Because I didn’t have a robust one when I was navigating social interactions at school, notably pre-complex diagnoses. Support networks are invaluable. Since support networks can grow, shrink, and change, they can be responsive and adaptable. Adaptability being critical to succeed in any environment.

Support networks can benefit from expanding. For example, when going through a life change (new job/relocation/loss) it can be helpful to talk to people who understand and can provide a safe space to talk. Counselling is a great option, and as private counselling can be expensive, looking for the right accessible counselling is a worthwhile pursuit. Leaning a bit more on trusted people can provide reassurance, boost self esteem and confidence.

Live life like a 5 year old in a batman t-shirt (or Captain America hoodie)

Sometimes it is important to shrink support available. Such as if the support available leads to energy depleting after engagement rather than restorative or energising. Shrinking support is appropriate when the support isn’t quite aligned to need. Having the right support is better than having the wrong support available. Reflect on support and if it’s given the way you want and if not, ditch it and find a better avenue.

Support can change. For example, support at school/uni/work can look different and delivered differently by people trained to different abilities. Being open to this change can increase your chance of being successful in the new situation. Embracing chance and trying to be adaptable can be helpful to progress and reach potential.

Support networks are dynamic. Sometimes contingent due to funding, other times more longer term. Both can be impactful. It’s important to reflect on how impactful the interactions are, especially critically challenging if it is a positive influence.

Conclusion

The Cost of Independence

Independence could be defined as the ability to meet responsibilities. These responsibilities may cover a broad area of our lives like home, work, personal, sport, or other vocational hobby or volunteering commitments, or even financial obligations. Independence could link to autonomy, being good with your own company and making choices based on what you want, rather than external influences or influencers.

Independence can be expensive. For example, a young person choosing to rent/put a deposit on a house compared to living at home. Independence could be a personal choice for those who are fortunate, and less so if the situation doesn’t allow this. This links to cultural expectations. It can be more acceptable in some cultures to have two, even three generation households. Therefore there can be a high cost associated to independence on the grounds of housing.

Another reason independence is expensive is car operating and maintenance costs. Being able to learn to drive at 17 is great but the UK average cost of used cars at £17,815 makes it difficult to seize this opportunity fully. Therefore car costs make independence an expensive pursuit.

Independence can take a lot of time when considering food. For example, shopping, cooking and last minute snack runs can mean substantial amounts of time is needed for the cooking process. So, now it’s established that there’s both a large financial and time cost to being independent.

A different consideration to independence is disability. Disabilities can imply a person may have a different level of independent living. For example, supported living. Supported living is life with assistance when needed like processing information or physical aid. Motivation can play a part when someone with a disability is deciding what level of independence they want. This may particularly be the case for people with mental health. Therefore, individual differences and disability can impact how attractive a variation of independence may be.

Having reviewed factors that impact independence, the situation we individually find ourselves in can impact our ability to sustain a particular level of independence. Society may encourage individuals to be independent, however by definition a society of living in a community, there is less of a community mentality. This may link to politics, or the fact there are over 8.05 billion people in the world. Overall independence may have different meaning to different people and everyone may have their own level of independence and that’s ok.

Dual careering: athlete and full time employee. Part 2 of 2.

This piece reads well after Part 1.

Alongside training and his studies, Rubens also waited four years for a medical diagnosis of autism. In our interview, Rubens didn’t hide his emotion, and explained the relief it brought to him and his family. After years, a lot of questions were answered. “It explained the conflict I’d faced at training as a junior, and communication breakdowns at university. To me though, its not a challenge, it’s just another element.”

At 23, Rubens now works as an employment support specialist, helping jobseekers with disabilities access jobs in all areas of industry. “I excel in my position because I always proactively job search myself. I take ownership of my career and where it’s going.”

He still finds time for swimming too, competing in the British Masters. “To be my authentic self, I have to swim. I just have to, whatever else I’m doing.”

Rubens loves his career. He attributes his achievement to ‘running himself like a successful business’. Taking advice from diverse sources and striking a balance between independence and accepting support is key, he believes. “Take caution in having too few advisors. Build yourself a diverse support network.”

What advice would he give to an athlete transitioning from sport to work? – “Don’t expect to jump into your perfect role on day one. It takes time. Manage your expectations. And know that the real key to success is to put enjoyment before money.”

My thanks to Issy and TTP. Very powerful to read back on the line ‘to be my authentic self, I have to swim. I must caveat and say I frame this ‘as have to swim so I can eat what I want!’ Joking, not joking. You get conditioned to do a job (swim train) and sadly, like so many other aspects of life, including for example being in the military, you don’t get retrained to not function at that conditioned level, there aren’t the dedicated resources. Why do you think so many ex-swimmers are heavy/big or ex-forces may struggle with mental health?

Click here for more specific advice on Job Searching Tips and here for Career Development Tips.

Stay You, Stay Fruity.

Real Rubens.

Dual careering: athlete and full time employee. Part 1 of 2.

By Issy Bailiey, Paralympic Athlete – British Shooting, during her tenure at The Transition Phase.

“Run yourself like a successful business” – Former National Champion in the pool, Rubens King shares his advice for striking a balance between sport and work.

Swimmer, Employment Support Specialist and podcaster – Rubens King manages more than most. “Swimming has taught me to be ambitious beyond my means”, he states, and it shows.

Four-time National champion and Masters gold medallist, Rubens strikes a healthy balance between his career and the sport he loves. Despite injury, surgeries and a diagnosis of autism, Rubens competed with Olympians, completed a degree and dove into the world of work.

After an exceptional early swimming career, elbow injuries threatened to end Rubens’ athletic journey in his teens. Successful keyhole surgery and extensive rehab meant long breaks from training but Rubens still managed to remain competitive. After completing his A-levels, Rubens faced a tough choice – to focus on swimming or his career?

“I asked myself: is the Olympic dream a reality? And I thought ‘probably not’, so my choice to focus on my career was marked by my choice of university – Portsmouth.” The decision to attend university for the CIPD accredited course set Rubens on a new path.

Rubens swam at every major event bar the Olympics. He even attended Olympic trials. You’d think it were a jagged pill to swallow, after a lifetime of dedication to swimming, to miss out by a fraction. But Rubens accepted the harsh reality – that’s the world of sport.

Choosing Portsmouth marked the decision to focus on a career moving forward. Rubens was a Sport Scholar, which allowed him to sustain a high level in the pool, consistently placing in the top 10 at BUCS events.

“I’m happy with the decisions I made”, he explains. University wasn’t without its challenges. Rubens suffered from homesickness, as his family have always been his biggest support. He also found himself in a constant goal-setting cycle and needed help setting realistic targets for his academic and athletic ambitions. Rubens began early preparations for his future career, using the university’s employability service to get a head start.

Upon reflection, it’s hard to ignore the influence of our pasts, namely influences like schooling. The University of Portsmouth was a good fit for me and the opportunities were timely. Another key aspect of this piece is about people I brought with me in my journey. Specifically, the employability service. Career development intertwines with personal development, and most certainly is a life long subject.

Click here for more specific advice on Job Searching Tips and here for Career Development Tips.

Stay You, Stay Fruity.

Real Rubens.

How swimming set me up for life

My relationship with competitive (indoor lane) swimming has been rocky at best. Nothing short of traumatic. But it did install an ambitious mindset, a clear routine, identify as a sportsman and social interaction. An attitude can open doors and keep some doors closed. Here’s how swimming set me up for a life I value pursing.

Swimming daily creates a mindset or attitude for achieving goals. For example, the idea of a personal best falling short if it doesn’t meet a qualifying target time. Teaching that you have to have high goals and ‘want something as much as breathing’ to increase the change of success. Therefore, swim training installed determination in me, which is needed to perform.

Being in the pool creates a routine around life. For example, to buffer mental health when life doesn’t go to plan, swimming remains a constant. When life changes swimming remains a constant. Therefore, when life becomes challenges, an alleviation can be a pass time like swimming.

Training in a group helps with identity personally and socially. I defined myself as a swimmer and a club member. For example, being part of the team. This identity helps to connect to other people and feel involved. Therefore, hobbies like swimming can help with relationships and identity.

Swimming so much creates a desire for constant improvement. This sense of competition is relatable to any part of life; work, relationships and other hobbies. For example, wanting more responsibility at work, more gestures in a relationship or more commitment to a hobby. Therefore motivation is fostered during swimming which applies to other areas of life.

Swimming can install determination to perform, alleviates from stress from work, can facilitate relationships and identity, and fosters motivation which can be generalised to other aspects of life.