Fear of applying to attractive roles

Every job has lessons that can be taken away. For example, the knowledge of what we are good at, what we are not good at, what we enjoy and what we don’t enjoy. These reflections can help steer decisions and more widely, a lifestyle. There are various reasons for not applying for an ‘attractive’ role. Attractive in italics as what is desirable is often subjective or down to the individual’s priorities, values and aspirations. Fear of applying, or anxiety, is a powerful motivator, and in this article takes a deep dive into why applications aren’t completed. Self-belief and imposter syndrome are important, and these topics can be explored separately here.

One reason is fear of failure. The worry that not securing the role, a worry that is greater than the idea of applying. At a deeper level certain factors can impact this fear. For example, previous negative experience of applying for attractive, perhaps ‘senior’ level roles. Fear of failure is similar to the fear of competition and fear or rejection. Therefore, the worry around not being successful or ‘likely’ to secure a position, may be reason enough not to apply. However other factors like value of time could be worth considering.

Another factor that may influence applying for an attractive role is one’s value of time. This implies time that needs to be sacrificed to research the company and go through the recruitment process. This sacrifice may be too much for individuals, making them unmotivated to apply, especially if a long (2 months or more) recruitment time frame is specified. Therefore, the value placed on time may impact if an attractive role is applied to. Time invested without reimbursement links to over investment.

Hesitation around hidden commitments and over investment in a company, role or manager may impact an application submission to an attractive role. For example, mental health related what-if thinking can lead an individual to take a step back and forgo effort to apply. This is because the belief a role will be overbearing leads a person to opt out of aligning their career with what seems to be an attractive role. Therefore, the view that a role will be the be all or end all of someone’s future may lead to no action with an application to an attractive role.

Another reason to not apply could be related to professional identity. For example, At university I asked a graduate who worked at IBM, an ‘IBMer’, how they intended to disassociate the professional link between them and IBM. The graduate was rather confused with the question, taking a staunch, unwavering position that he wanted the professional label of an IBMer. This surprised me as I thought everyone is an individual, and with loyalty to the individual depleting with growing redundancies, how can a professional afford to tie self-worth to an organisation that sees employees, especially ‘self-employed zero hour contract workers’, as replaceable, disposable, or a commodity? Therefore, wanting to maintain independence to conglomerate, multinational organisations may mean an individual chooses not to apply for an attractive role.

Therefore, the philosophy of work, values, principles and ‘snapshot’ motivations may impact if someone applies to an attractive role.

Stay brave, keep following your instincts and be sure to… Stay Fruity.

Yours,

Real Rubens.

The beauty of gaming

Gaming or playing video games can be a way to connect to the version of ourselves who like to play. Gaming can help escape from reality. Escaping reality can be exciting because it can foster imagination, possibilities, and fantasy. Imagination and creativity can help cope with challenging situations and even resolve problems. Coping strategies are important to maintaining wellbeing and self-regulating behaviour.

I love playing Xbox. When I plug in a game like Fallout, I have endless choices of side quests, main story lines or farming (repeatedly doing the same actions to earn rewards). These choices can entice me for hours and be a motivator to action some of the real life tasks I was putting off. The novelty or sequential nature of the process can be soothing. Therefore, pressing that on button can bring endless hours of self-soothing.

Gaming can help boost mood. Whether playing online with friends or solo, connecting with the non-player characters (NPCs). The game’s unique dialogue and interactions can be stimulating. Additionally, collecting items and collating them into your in game house or space can be a great trophy room to capture progress. Having a visual representation of achievements can be rewarding and reaffirming. Therefore, gaming can improve mood through the social and in game interactions, progress and trophy rooms.

Overall, gaming is a form of stimulation, can help boost mood by fostering creativity and being able to keep in game items in one place. Therefore gaming will always be a great way to pass spare time.

Go gently, Stay You, Stay Fruity.

Real Rubens

Gut feelings

Gut feelings or first thoughts on a decision, person or situation can be challenging to act upon. It is hard to navigate expectations we have on ourselves and expectations that others have on us, add gut feelings to the mix and decision making becomes much harder than it needs to be.

The power is in your hands.

The Leatherhead (Surrey) based Mary Frances Trust have just published a fantastic must-read blog post on Trust Your Gut: Stress & the Vagus Nerve articulating how our thoughts link to our stomach because of the Vagus Nerve. Author of the article Kat, the Trusts’ Mental Health Safeguarding and Clinical Supervision Lead, clarified that breathing out slowly can help regulate stress.

Personal development is important, so knowing what our instincts are telling us is a valuable skill. A skill that needs to be nurtured to varying levels depending on the individual. This is something I struggle with, as my gut feelings could lead to uncertainty, which my Autism is not a fan of, yet my anxiety is like, ‘trust me’. Trusting your gut can be challenging, but can lead to some beautiful outcomes. For example, not taking a job that tied me to the family home gave me the opportunity to move out and be independent. Therefore it is worth paying attention to our gut feelings.

Go gently and Stay Fruity,

Real Rubens

Disability no longer requires diagnosis for Equality Act 2010 protections

Employee Benefits’ Webber wrote the definition of disability under the Equality Act is a physical or mental impairment that has a substantial and long-term effect on their ability to carry out daily activities. Webber added an employment tribunal has ruled that stress can be considered disability without a formal mental health diagnosis from a doctor.

This is a huge development for neurodiversity, people’s rights, mental health and protection in the workplace. The implication is that protection can be accessed without facing the barrier of a waiting list for diagnosis. The statistics capture 1/4 have mental health, however given the rise in neurodiversity, undiagnosed conditions and generational trauma, this figure may be as high as 3/4 of people have mental health. Therefore, knowing what protection is available is paramount to maintaining employee rights in the workplace.

In the face of growing pressure at work at all levels, what steps are you willing to take for your rights to be upheld?

Stay You, Stay Fruity.

Real Rubens

Holidays – a blessing or curse?

A holiday can be a break from work.

Staying at home in the UK like peak/lake district, Cornwall, Devon, Scotland.

Or abroad in Spain, Turkey, the Canary Islands, Disney Land, Thailand or Australia.

Owner of NeuroDivergent Rebel, Lyric writes how holidays can be unattractive to people with autism due to social pressure.

This was an interesting idea that I reflected on, and agree with. Holidays are less about time off and more about consuming, spending and arguably, waste. For example, gifts that are binned, resold or simply unwanted. Therefore gift giving has become a bit of a tick box exercise which we have been conditioned to engage in to express ‘love’, conveniently at the benefit of retailers, and the tax man.

It would be nice if socialisation included how to spend our leisure time, instead of being taught to ‘want more’, live a more flamboyant ‘lifestyle’ or upgrade our car. Therefore it is unsurprising to feel uncomfortable when outside of the traditional ‘9-5 work’ remit.

Let’s challenge the status quo.

Stay brave, Stay Fruity.

Ps. also on holiday at the moment, and for the most part, having a good time.